BR0013 Social Anxiety is Ruining My Life!

Steve Mayeda Bang Radio 1 Comment

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Social Anxiety – The Cure

If you have social anxiety there are a few things I want to say – 

First Download our Free PDF Quick Guide to Managing Social Anxiety (Click the Yellow Button)
It is a simple easy read on daily actions to alleviate Social Anxiety, Develop Positive Beliefs and Learn some Great Social Skills. 

Approach Anxiety is different.  That means you see an attractive girl and you get nervous about approaching her.  Completely different experience. 

Social Anxiety means, you’re afraid to talk to anybody.  There are varying degrees.  It can mean you want to keep to yourself, all the way to not getting out of the house, suffering panic attacks at the thought of interacting with people, all the way to anti-social behavior.

If you’re truly Anti-social – meaning you hate and want to attack society, we cannot help you.  Get help somewhere else.  A trained professional – Therapist, Psychiatrist, Group Therapy is a good start.

If you do not have hatred towards people, and have the desire to be social then TSL can help you.   Here is the path of Social and Sexual Health for someone starting with Social Anxiety

What is Social Health?  Social health means you enjoy people, build great relationships, experience a range of emotions and value human interaction.  Many guys that get really involved with pick up and social dynamics, learn to be social without being an expression of themselves.  They can meet people but have no friends.  This isn’t our goal. Our goal is to be socially health, building valuable relationships.   Of course we will have bad days and bad experiences, but the overall result of being social will be positive. 

1 – Start By Taking the Next Best Step – If you have social anxiety, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a great social or sexual life, it means you just need to start at a different point.

2 – Learn to Be Social –  Step one to your journey is to get social.  This can take 3 months to 1 year.   It will not be over night.  It will be something you have to work at.  However if you work at it, you will get better.  That is a pretty great guarantee.   To be social we will start with – what is the simplest action that moves in the direction of ‘Social Health’.  Another way to put it is, what is the simplest action that will move you towards having a positive perspective with people, and interacting with them. 

Stop making it only about women.  If you want the path to a good social and sexual life you need to first be social with everyone.  Men, women, kids and all people.  We need to learn the human touch, not the objectifying touch.   First determine what is the simplest action you can do.  Then do it until you get to the point of functionality.  Also these are baby steps that lead up to social fluidity.  However they are incomplete social actions.  Yes, you may have someone start talking to you.  That is fine.  It is fine if you don’t know what to say.  It is fine if you mess up.  It is fine if you don’t make a friend or a connection.  What matters is you step closer and closer to your specific goal in the exercise.  If you ‘say hello’, and then don’t know what to say after that, that is fine.  Say nothing.  When you get good at ‘saying hello’ we will add to that.  In no time you will be striking up conversations.

Here is a good guide you can follow to progress to alleviate anxiety, build beliefs and learn social skills. 

  • Getting out of the house once a day and spending 30mins in a public place.  You want to do this, until you have a manageable form of anxiety.
  • Make eye contact with people for 1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds and more.  This can be tough, but it is time to move on once you can get to 3 seconds.
  • Smile at people when making eye contact.  Many times this can seem like too much.  You can baby step it, and smile at people who are helping you, like staff at the restaurant or cafe, or people already interacting with you.  The key is to smile, and it is even better if they smile back.
  • Make observational statements.  Say to hired help, employees at cafes and restaurants or wherever else people are that you may normally interact with, ‘The wether is good today’, or ‘that looks good’, or ‘there is a lot of traffic today.’  You may or may not get a reply back.  However, that is good enough for now.  The point is that you express.  It will feel weird.  But you have got to do it.
  • Compliments.  Start giving compliments to people.  A compliment is not so we get anything in return, it is something we give and let it drift off.  As Doc Dane says (one of our TSL Alumni who specializes in Social Anxiety), ‘Imagine a compliment like a message you put in a bottle.  You just let it drift off to sea.’  Start telling people what you notice.  Make it easy.  “You have a nice smile”, or “I like your hair”, or “I like that car”.  Remember it is not about just women, give a compliment to everyone.
  • Say Hello to 5 people a day.  Much like the previous, we are simply ‘Saying hello’.  If someone talks to us, great, if not no big deal.  We will get there.  These are exercises to lead us up to complete social acts.  They are incomplete social exercises.  Do them, get the functionality and we will turn them into complete social acts.

Here’s the deal folks, if you have Social Anxiety, it is always best to have a support group.  This is what TSL Online offers, but there are also support groups that are local that might focus on something outside of social dynamics.  Seek those out.  I can tell you this, the biggest changes in my life have come from groups that we little money to free, however I had to work very hard to change. 

I have made my living as a coach for nearly 10 years now, it is always best to do as much work yourself, or with free resources first.   That way when you do something like TSL Online you can get the absolute most out of it. 

Here is a FREE Quick Guide for Social Anxiety we use at TSL

The things in this exact checklist are what our Alumni who have had major social anxiety have done to eventually move to have a fluid, fruitful and fulfilling sex life. 

If you want to get involved in the products TSL has to offer – 

The Better Man’s Guide to Dating & Lifestyle (Starting at $7)

TSL Online – Virtual 

TSL Online – Full Service 

All the Best

Steve Mayeda

Steve MayedaBR0013 Social Anxiety is Ruining My Life!

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